Are you a caregiver for a cancer patient? Are you a cancer patient? Do you work with cancer patients? If so, the Practical Caregiver is the answer for caregiver education. Why?
I started the Practical Caregiver concept because I want people to know we can do a better job of supporting and educating caregivers. Does that matter for cancer patients? You bet it does. The more a caregiver understands the complexities of cancer care, the more easily he or she can address the REAL needs of a cancer patient.
Cancer and its treatment affect your loved one's:
1. appetite
2. diet
3. immune system
4. personality
5. energy level
6. life plans
Is the Practical Caregiver providing medical advice? Absolutely not. That's why we have doctors, nurses, nutritionists and others working on cancer treatment.
The Practical Caregiver provides education to cancer caregivers, to help you understand your loved one's experience better and to help you cope with the stress of being a cancer caregiver. It's available to any and all caregivers, regardless of what medical facility is treating their loved one.
Did you know that very often cancer patients are in need of different types of caregiving? Starting out treatment for cancer in the early stages is very different than catching it in a later stage. You will have to adapt your care and your own life to fit the specific needs of your loved one. Can you do this on your own?
Many times cancer treatment becomes a "serial" issue. Your loved one may have recurrences. These days, things have changed on the cancer treatment front. The disease is managed over years in many cases. As a caregiver, you will have to step up, step back, step up, and step back over and over again. When your loved one is feeling good, you won't need to provide as much care, if any. When your loved one needs your help, it's important for you to be there. That means planning for the future in reasonable, sensible ways. Expect to provide care, build your resources list, find out what you can use -- being prepared is important.
Cancer can also, in its later stages, be a progressive disease, so it's important to understand the issues in coping with a terminal illness. You, as a cancer caregiver, want to make your loved one as comfortable and active as possible. Life is about living, not about dying. We all die, without much choice in the matter. We can and we should choose how we live. Make it worthwhile.
What's the biggest issue for cancer patients and caregivers? Managing the fear of the disease. Cancer is the big black cloud hanging over a loved one's head. How do you comfort someone with cancer? How do you help him or her manage the fear better? Fear creates stress and stress takes it toll on everyone.
The Practical Caregiver's mission is to reduce cancer caregiver stress. I believe the better I can help you to understand what your loved one is facing, I can provide to you the tools to do a better job. And if you do a better job as a cancer caregiver, your loved one is likely to have a better, happier, healthier life. That's a win-win, isn't it?
So, cancer caregivers, use the Practical Caregiver's free education. Take advantage of the advice. Believe that what you do for your loved one makes a difference. When you care about more than just the cancer, life becomes fuller, richer, and worth living. Be inspired.
If you would like more help with cancer caregiving, check out:
The Practical Caregiver Guides
For help organizing the holiday caregiving (and who doesn't), check out my new book at Smashwords, available for download:
The Practical Caregiver's Rules for Happy Holidays
Monday, November 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
INTERVIEW: KATHY MCGONIGAL, ONCOLOGY NURSE
In honor of National Family Caregiver Month, I've invited Kathy McGonigal, an oncology-certified nurse with almost 20 years of experience to answer some questions. My goal is to help cancer caregivers do a better job of helping their loved ones manage the disease as much as is possible.
Sara:
Hi, Kathy. I'm so glad you could join us. I really value your experience as an oncology nurse. Let me ask you this. If you could give one piece of advice to caregivers at the start of treatment for their loved ones, what would that be?
Kathy:
It's hard to give just one but I would say take care of "you". This is the most difficult for the caregiver to understand. They feel like they have to be everything to their loved one all the time. Let others help you. Admit when you are overwhelmed. Taking a break is important. Eat healthy and get a lot of rest.
Sara:
So, so true. It really is critical that we take care of ourselves, so we can be there for the people we love. What the most common mistake you've seen caregivers make in taking care of loved ones with cancer? Is there more than one way to overcome this?
Kathy:
When patients hear the word cancer, everything changes. Most patients want to talk about their fears. Listen. Really listen. Instead of the usual "Don't talk like that" or "Everything will be fine", it is important to acknowledge their fears. It is also okay for you to tell them you are afraid too. Once words are spoken out loud, some of the fear disappears.
Sara:
I think listening is probably the best tool a caregiver can have in the caregiver tool box. It helps you to recognize when there's a serious problem and to get the right help from your cancer treatment team. And a caregiver who is a good listener makes a cancer patient feel much more connected. It's scary enough to hear the word, "cancer", so knowing you have good support can make it all a little less lonely. How important is it for cancer families to understand the type of cancer their loved ones have and to understand the treatment that's being given? Does it make a difference?
Kathy:
Families who understand the disease their loved one is suffering from is very important. You will be getting a lot of advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. Not all cancer is created equal. Knowing what you are dealing with allows you to help make educated decisions and make reachable goals. The more educated you are, the less afraid you are.
Sara:
I think that's really true about getting advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. I met some amazing people during my mom's treatments, and having the chance to talk to them about their experiences really helped me to do a better job in caring for my mom. One issue that seems to come up a lot with cancer patients is eating. Nutrition is often an important element in helping cancer patients get through the rigors of treatment. Do you have a good tip for feeding a reluctant patient?
Kathy:
Eating is important but it can also be a source of frustration between caregivers and patients. Feeding an illness is something we have all learned from our mothers. The patient knows how important it is to eat but it is not always possible. Think about how you feel when you are ill before you try and "force" your loved one to eat. Let the patient go. Make sure there are a lot of simple nutrient rich foods on hand. Cook simple so the smells are not overwhelming. Don't make the patient feel like you are monitoring everything they eat or not eat. It will cause too much anxiety. The patient will eat when they can. Leave it up to the doctors and nurses to address nutrition.
Sara:
Ah, what could be more annoying than the Food Police? How true. That's a good point, too, about the cooking smells, especially if your loved one doesn't already feel well. Reaching out to the medical team for help is good, solid advice, Kathy. As an experienced oncology nurse, you're working on the front lines and I'm sure you've seen a lot over the years. Dealing with cancer can be stressful on a daily basis. A lot of cancer caregivers become overwhelmed. Do you have your own favorite ways of dealing with stress when you've had a tough week at work?
Kathy:
Wow, that's a hard one and it is sometimes very difficult. I try to apply everything I learn from my patients into my personal life. I try to take nothing for granted. No matter how long you live, it is always not long enough. As stressful as my job can be, I have been privileged and honored to be invited into the lives of my patients at what might be the most vulnerable time of life. They have all enriched my life in ways most people do not get to experience. It is amazing to watch the human spirit take over. If you are a caregiver, you too will learn that while the patient says they couldn't get through it without you, you will be the one who gets the biggest gift of all. You make it possible for your loved one to fight.
Sara:
What a great point to make to caregivers. I've seen that time and time again. Caregivers are the wind beneath a loved one's wings and yet we're the ones who benefit when we really make an effort to give the right kind of support for those we love. It changes lives, especially our own. Thank you so much, Kathy, for sharing your insight and wisdom. I know caregivers will be inspired by your words.
Contact:
Kathy McGonigal
kathymcgonigal@gmail.com
Sara:
Hi, Kathy. I'm so glad you could join us. I really value your experience as an oncology nurse. Let me ask you this. If you could give one piece of advice to caregivers at the start of treatment for their loved ones, what would that be?
Kathy:
It's hard to give just one but I would say take care of "you". This is the most difficult for the caregiver to understand. They feel like they have to be everything to their loved one all the time. Let others help you. Admit when you are overwhelmed. Taking a break is important. Eat healthy and get a lot of rest.
Sara:
So, so true. It really is critical that we take care of ourselves, so we can be there for the people we love. What the most common mistake you've seen caregivers make in taking care of loved ones with cancer? Is there more than one way to overcome this?
Kathy:
When patients hear the word cancer, everything changes. Most patients want to talk about their fears. Listen. Really listen. Instead of the usual "Don't talk like that" or "Everything will be fine", it is important to acknowledge their fears. It is also okay for you to tell them you are afraid too. Once words are spoken out loud, some of the fear disappears.
Sara:
I think listening is probably the best tool a caregiver can have in the caregiver tool box. It helps you to recognize when there's a serious problem and to get the right help from your cancer treatment team. And a caregiver who is a good listener makes a cancer patient feel much more connected. It's scary enough to hear the word, "cancer", so knowing you have good support can make it all a little less lonely. How important is it for cancer families to understand the type of cancer their loved ones have and to understand the treatment that's being given? Does it make a difference?
Kathy:
Families who understand the disease their loved one is suffering from is very important. You will be getting a lot of advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. Not all cancer is created equal. Knowing what you are dealing with allows you to help make educated decisions and make reachable goals. The more educated you are, the less afraid you are.
Sara:
I think that's really true about getting advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. I met some amazing people during my mom's treatments, and having the chance to talk to them about their experiences really helped me to do a better job in caring for my mom. One issue that seems to come up a lot with cancer patients is eating. Nutrition is often an important element in helping cancer patients get through the rigors of treatment. Do you have a good tip for feeding a reluctant patient?
Kathy:
Eating is important but it can also be a source of frustration between caregivers and patients. Feeding an illness is something we have all learned from our mothers. The patient knows how important it is to eat but it is not always possible. Think about how you feel when you are ill before you try and "force" your loved one to eat. Let the patient go. Make sure there are a lot of simple nutrient rich foods on hand. Cook simple so the smells are not overwhelming. Don't make the patient feel like you are monitoring everything they eat or not eat. It will cause too much anxiety. The patient will eat when they can. Leave it up to the doctors and nurses to address nutrition.
Sara:
Ah, what could be more annoying than the Food Police? How true. That's a good point, too, about the cooking smells, especially if your loved one doesn't already feel well. Reaching out to the medical team for help is good, solid advice, Kathy. As an experienced oncology nurse, you're working on the front lines and I'm sure you've seen a lot over the years. Dealing with cancer can be stressful on a daily basis. A lot of cancer caregivers become overwhelmed. Do you have your own favorite ways of dealing with stress when you've had a tough week at work?
Kathy:
Wow, that's a hard one and it is sometimes very difficult. I try to apply everything I learn from my patients into my personal life. I try to take nothing for granted. No matter how long you live, it is always not long enough. As stressful as my job can be, I have been privileged and honored to be invited into the lives of my patients at what might be the most vulnerable time of life. They have all enriched my life in ways most people do not get to experience. It is amazing to watch the human spirit take over. If you are a caregiver, you too will learn that while the patient says they couldn't get through it without you, you will be the one who gets the biggest gift of all. You make it possible for your loved one to fight.
Sara:
What a great point to make to caregivers. I've seen that time and time again. Caregivers are the wind beneath a loved one's wings and yet we're the ones who benefit when we really make an effort to give the right kind of support for those we love. It changes lives, especially our own. Thank you so much, Kathy, for sharing your insight and wisdom. I know caregivers will be inspired by your words.
Contact:
Kathy McGonigal
kathymcgonigal@gmail.com
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