INCLEMENT WEATHER AND HOUSE FIRE SEASON -- HAVE A PLAN

This is the season when people take unnecessary risks. Are you one of them? Are you endangering your loved one? Be smart. Be prepared. Can you prevent a catastrophe at home? In an emergency, if you need to evacuate the house, what will you take with you?

Start your New Year off right. Take a few minutes today You could save a life:

1. If you don't have smoke detectors or they are out of date, buy new ones and make sure they are properly installed. Replace batteries in your smoke detectors. Use a permanent marker on the back to note the date. This way, you will know it was done.

2. Do you have a carbon monoxide detector? This will alert you if dangerous levels are building up in your home. Buy one and properly install it. If you have one, change the batteries and mark the date, so you know it was done.

3. If you need to get out of the house in an emergency, make sure you have important information that you will need in a convenient folder or on a USB stick. Or save it in "the cloud", so you can access it wherever you are. You'll want contact numbers and any pertinent information on your loved one. Why not also add family information that you'll need? Don't forget to have your loved one's identification and insurance information handy.

4. Consider replacing candles and open flames with battery-operated and independent power sources that are safer. Remember that your loved one may not have the stamina or energy to flee in a fire, so err on the side of caution.

5. If you live in an area that is prone to ice and snow storms, be sure to be prepared. Know where blankets are, have a couple of days worth of food for your loved one that he or she can eat, and emergency supplies on hand -- consider an emergency radio.

6. Figure out ahead of time what you will do if the power goes out, the phones are down, and the roads are closed. Have a plan. If you know a big storm is coming, know where you will go and decide when you will evacuate.

Don't leave your emergency planning until disaster is upon you. Be proactive. And then, sit back with your loved one and relax. Happy New Year!

For more help with your caregiving, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides:
http://www.practicalcaregiverguides.com/

For a free downloadable ebook version of The Practical Caregiver's Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love, visit my Smashwords page or your favorite ebook store:
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/practicalcaregiver

GIFTS FOR CANCER PATIENTS

It's that time of year, and if you're a caregiver for a cancer patient, you may feel stumped about what gifts to give your loved one, especially if it's been a tough cancer year.

When choosing, consider your loved one's needs. Is there neuropathy involved? Or a handicap? Or fatigue? Has he or she lost a lot of weight lately? Have things been too serious or very scary? Gifts that comfort can make your loved one feel safe and cozy.

Suggestions:
-- A soft lap blanket for napping
-- A comfy pillow to rest the head
-- A recliner
-- Easy-to-put-on slippers, slipper socks with treads, velcro-fastened or slip-on shoes
-- Clothing that doesn't require a lot of effort to put on -- sweats, lounge wear, pants with elastic waists, tops that don't have a lot of buttons
-- A funky cane -- something colorful, camouflage, folding, or even one that has a seat attached, for when your loved one gets tired and needs to just rest a minute
-- A colorful hat, scarf, or turban
-- A calculator and/or dictionary, to compensate for those "chemo brain" moments

But don't stop there -- consider other unusual offerings:
-- Dinner and a movie of your loved one's choice
-- A drive to see the Christmas lights
-- Tickets to a holiday show

Wherever your loved one is in cancer treatment and management, make your gifts fit his or her physical, mental, and emotional needs. Cancer always takes its toll on quality of life for your loved one. Whatever you can do to help compensate for the loss of opportunities and abilities is something that will empower and encourage your loved one. Sometimes the biggest gift you can give someone with cancer is to keep hope alive. No matter what happens, your commitment to be there through rain or shine, sleet or snow, is wonderful gift to give. Celebrate what is good at this very moment and put cancer on the back burner for a while. Love, not cancer, makes the world go around, caregivers!

For more free help with cancer caregiving, visit:
The Practical Caregiver Guides

If you would like a free downloadable copy of The Practical Caregiver's Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love, visit my Smashwords page:
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/practicalcaregiver

WHY A FREE DOWNLOADABLE CANCER CARE BOOK?

When my mother was being treated for cancer and I was her caregiver, I had the good fortune to meet some amazing people. Some were medical personnel, but most were patients and family members. Everyone has a story, but some stories are better than others. Why? Because they inspire us to do more and to be more. Along the road to life, there are many heroes who started out as ordinary people. As they battled cancer, sometimes over decades, they began to learn things about their disease, as did their caregivers. How you approach cancer management matters.

One thing I gained from having access to so many cancer patients and their caregivers over the years was reinforced by my own early experiences in working with pediatric cancer patients. With cancer, you have to keep hope alive. Make time to play when you feel good. Sometimes everything can hinge on just surviving a day longer. I learned that from little Scotty, deemed to be dying by his pediatric oncologist. I was called in to say my goodbyes because little Scotty wasn't expected to survive the weekend. As I sat with him in the ICU, I threw caution to the wind. I put aside his terminal diagnosis and I embraced the moment. Having pulled out my compact mirror to check my reflection, I was surprised by little Scotty's request. Could he put makeup on me? Who was I to say no to a dying child. By the time he was done applying eye shadow and lipstick, I looked like Snookie at the Jersey Shore. And therein lies the magic of living in the moment. Scotty laughed at the sight of me, and the sound of his laughter was contagious. Whatever was to come didn't matter. Scotty was having fun. He was being a child, even when the chemotherapy made him feel as sick as a dog. Soon he was into remission, back to being a rambunctious five-year-old with a silly streak a mile wide.

Do I suggest that his recovery was a miracle? No. I believe it was a combination of good oncology, good care by his family, and the chance to forget about the cancer long enough to be a kid again. Every cancer patient regular "fugetaboutit" time, when you put aside the disease and get back to who you are. There are hopes, dreams, plans, desires to be fulfilled.

When cancer caregivers understand that there are common tasks and strategies for helping their loved ones better manage their lives with cancer, that's when good things happen. Learning to live in the here-and-now, understanding that we have these moments to enjoy and we shouldn't waste them -- that's when good things happen. When we take our loved ones to cancer treatment and then take them out for fun, that's when good things happen. Treat the disease and then feed the soul.

That's why I created the free caregiver ebooks -- because of all the wonderful people I met along the cancer highway, who graciously shared some important life lessons with me. But I also learned from all the people who lost their joy, who clung to misery and anger with both hands on the steering wheel. Cancer is never an easy diagnosis. There is a lot of dread and uncertainty that comes with the territory. But for everyone who rose above, who let hope live in the heart, even for a day, you were my inspiration for The Practical Caregiver Guides. It's never over until the Fat Lady sings, so Carpe Diem!

If you would like to download my free cancer caregiver ebook, "The Practical Caregiver's Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love", visit Smashwords:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/110999

If you would like more free caregiver education, video tips, and inspiration, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides:
www.practicalcaregiverguides.com

WHAT DOES THE PRACTICAL CAREGIVER DO FOR CANCER PATIENTS?

Are you a caregiver for a cancer patient? Are you a cancer patient? Do you work with cancer patients? If so, the Practical Caregiver is the answer for caregiver education. Why?

I started the Practical Caregiver concept because I want people to know we can do a better job of supporting and educating caregivers. Does that matter for cancer patients? You bet it does. The more a caregiver understands the complexities of cancer care, the more easily he or she can address the REAL needs of a cancer patient.

Cancer and its treatment affect your loved one's:

1. appetite
2. diet
3. immune system
4. personality
5. energy level
6. life plans

Is the Practical Caregiver providing medical advice? Absolutely not. That's why we have doctors, nurses, nutritionists and others working on cancer treatment.

The Practical Caregiver provides education to cancer caregivers, to help you understand your loved one's experience better and to help you cope with the stress of being a cancer caregiver. It's available to any and all caregivers, regardless of what medical facility is treating their loved one.

Did you know that very often cancer patients are in need of different types of caregiving? Starting out treatment for cancer in the early stages is very different than catching it in a later stage. You will have to adapt your care and your own life to fit the specific needs of your loved one. Can you do this on your own?

Many times cancer treatment becomes a "serial" issue. Your loved one may have recurrences. These days, things have changed on the cancer treatment front. The disease is managed over years in many cases. As a caregiver, you will have to step up, step back, step up, and step back over and over again. When your loved one is feeling good, you won't need to provide as much care, if any. When your loved one needs your help, it's important for you to be there. That means planning for the future in reasonable, sensible ways. Expect to provide care, build your resources list, find out what you can use -- being prepared is important.

Cancer can also, in its later stages, be a progressive disease, so it's important to understand the issues in coping with a terminal illness. You, as a cancer caregiver, want to make your loved one as comfortable and active as possible. Life is about living, not about dying. We all die, without much choice in the matter. We can and we should choose how we live. Make it worthwhile.

What's the biggest issue for cancer patients and caregivers? Managing the fear of the disease. Cancer is the big black cloud hanging over a loved one's head. How do you comfort someone with cancer? How do you help him or her manage the fear better? Fear creates stress and stress takes it toll on everyone.

The Practical Caregiver's mission is to reduce cancer caregiver stress. I believe the better I can help you to understand what your loved one is facing, I can provide to you the tools to do a better job. And if you do a better job as a cancer caregiver, your loved one is likely to have a better, happier, healthier life. That's a win-win, isn't it?

So, cancer caregivers, use the Practical Caregiver's free education. Take advantage of the advice. Believe that what you do for your loved one makes a difference. When you care about more than just the cancer, life becomes fuller, richer, and worth living. Be inspired.

If you would like more help with cancer caregiving, check out:
The Practical Caregiver Guides

For help organizing the holiday caregiving (and who doesn't), check out my new book at Smashwords, available for download:
The Practical Caregiver's Rules for Happy Holidays

INTERVIEW: KATHY MCGONIGAL, ONCOLOGY NURSE

In honor of National Family Caregiver Month, I've invited Kathy McGonigal, an oncology-certified nurse with almost 20 years of experience to answer some questions. My goal is to help cancer caregivers do a better job of helping their loved ones manage the disease as much as is possible.

 Sara:
 Hi, Kathy. I'm so glad you could join us. I really value your experience as an oncology nurse.  Let me ask you this. If you could give one piece of advice to caregivers at the start of treatment for their loved ones, what would that be?

 Kathy:
 It's hard to give just one but I would say take care of "you". This is the most difficult for the caregiver to understand. They feel like they have to be everything to their loved one all the time. Let others help you. Admit when you are overwhelmed. Taking a break is important. Eat healthy and get a lot of rest.

Sara:
So, so true. It really is critical that we take care of ourselves, so we can be there for the people we love. What the most common mistake you've seen caregivers make in taking care of loved ones with cancer? Is there more than one way to overcome this?

Kathy:
When patients hear the word cancer, everything changes. Most patients want to talk about their fears. Listen. Really listen. Instead of the usual "Don't talk like that" or "Everything will be fine", it is important to acknowledge their fears. It is also okay for you to tell them you are afraid too. Once words are spoken out loud, some of the fear disappears.

Sara:
I think listening is probably the best tool a caregiver can have in the caregiver tool box. It helps you to recognize when there's a serious problem and to get the right help from your cancer treatment team. And a caregiver who is a good listener makes a cancer patient feel much more connected. It's scary enough to hear the word, "cancer", so knowing you have good support can make it all a little less lonely. How important is it for cancer families to understand the type of cancer their loved ones have and to understand the treatment that's being given? Does it make a difference?

Kathy:
Families who understand the disease their loved one is suffering from is very important. You will be getting a lot of advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. Not all cancer is created equal. Knowing what you are dealing with allows you to help make educated decisions and make reachable goals. The more educated you are, the less afraid you are.

Sara:
I think that's really true about getting advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. I met some amazing people during my mom's treatments, and having the chance to talk to them about their experiences really helped me to do a better job in caring for my mom. One issue that seems to come up a lot with cancer patients is eating. Nutrition is often an important element in helping cancer patients get through the rigors of treatment. Do you have a good tip for feeding a reluctant patient?

Kathy:
Eating is important but it can also be a source of frustration between caregivers and patients. Feeding an illness is something we have all learned from our mothers. The patient knows how important it is to eat but it is not always possible. Think about how you feel when you are ill before you try and "force" your loved one to eat. Let the patient go. Make sure there are a lot of simple nutrient rich foods on hand. Cook simple so the smells are not overwhelming.  Don't make the patient feel like you are monitoring everything they eat or not eat. It will cause too much anxiety. The patient will eat when they can. Leave it up to the doctors and nurses to address nutrition.

Sara:
Ah, what could be more annoying than the Food Police? How true. That's a good point, too, about the cooking smells, especially if your loved one doesn't already feel well. Reaching out to the medical team for help is good, solid advice, Kathy. As an experienced oncology nurse, you're working on the front lines and I'm sure you've seen a lot over the years. Dealing with cancer can be stressful on a daily basis. A lot of cancer caregivers become overwhelmed. Do you have your own favorite ways of dealing with stress when you've had a tough week at work?

Kathy:
Wow, that's a hard one and it is sometimes very difficult. I try to apply everything I learn from my patients into my personal life. I try to take nothing for granted. No matter how long you live, it is always not long enough. As stressful as my job can be, I have been privileged and honored to be invited into the lives of my patients at what might be the most vulnerable time of life. They have all enriched my life in ways most people do not get to experience. It is amazing to watch the human spirit take over. If you are a caregiver, you too will learn that while the patient says they couldn't get through it without you, you will be the one who gets the biggest gift of all. You make it possible for your loved one to fight.

Sara:
What a great point to make to caregivers. I've seen that time and time again. Caregivers are the wind beneath a loved one's wings and yet we're the ones who benefit when we really make an effort to give the right kind of support for those we love. It changes lives, especially our own. Thank you so much, Kathy, for sharing your insight and wisdom. I know caregivers will be inspired by your words.

Contact:
Kathy McGonigal
kathymcgonigal@gmail.com

VIDEO TIP -- HOPE MATTERS

Need some help understanding why hope is so important for cancer patients? Here's a quick video tip!




For more help, visit THE PRACTICAL CAREGIVER GUIDES

RADIATION AFTER SURGERY CUTS BREAST CANCER RECURRENCE

Someone I love has breast cancer. Newly diagnosed, still shocked and saddened by the news, she's struggled with the decision about cancer treatment. Discussions with doctors and her husband, long hours mulling over her options -- this person I love is just beginning the cancer journey. Should she give up all hope? Should she fear the future?

If I can do nothing more for the many who are in her shoes, let me do this. Let me spread the word that British researchers reported in the Lancet that an analysis of seventeen studies, involving almost 11,000 women who had breast cancers surgically removed and received follow-up radiation treatment, showed a significant reduction in the recurrence rate to 19.3% in the first ten years after surgery -- the original rate was 35%! That means that another 15 women in every 100 survived because of radiation after breast cancer surgery. Imagine 15 more women at the gym, walking on treadmills or enjoying dance classes. Imagine 15 more women at the local coffee house, sipping their lattes and sharing their stories. Imagine 15 more mothers and grandmothers at family reunions, laughing and passing the mashed potatoes. Imagine 15 more women at work, fighting fires, teaching students, caring patients, driving buses and cabs, writing the next Booker Prize novel, or just handing you your change at the grocery store. Those 15 women who survived breast cancer surgery and had radiation as a follow-up lived longer. Where there is life, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is the promise of a cure.

Denise Grady, of the New York Times, reported on the Lancet research:
"Radiation Therapy After Breast Cancer Surgery Cuts Recurrence, Study Says"

You may not think it's a big deal those 15 women survived their first ten years after breast cancer surgery and radiation, but I do. Why? These women are the future of breast cancer treatment -- they are the survivors. Researchers will study them, study the treatments they received, in order to help those of us who are newly diagnosed.

Someone I love has breast cancer, and I want her to know that she has a good fighting chance to survive it with the right treatment. Every day, we learn more and more about how we can use the information we get from cancer survivors to tweak cancer treatments so they work better and people live bigger, better lives. Every cancer patient deserves to have good options. This research analysis is going to change lives. Will it change the life of someone you love?

For more help with cancer caregiving, visit THE PRACTICAL CAREGIVER GUIDES

WHAT ARE THE PRACTICAL CAREGIVER GUIDES?

What are the Practical Caregiver Guides and why do they exist? The answer is simple. Family caregivers are not normally trained in how to provide care. They slip through the cracks. They stumble their way through care. Burned out, exhausted, just trying to survive, family caregivers try to cover all the bases, but it's not easy.

Hospital workers are trained. Even home health aides have to be certified. But family caregivers? It's all relative.

The truth is that the more you know about your loved one's disease, the better the care you give. In cancer management, it can be critical. Want an example of some things you should know?

Eating can be exhausting for cancer patients, and many just give up because it's too much effort. It takes energy to chew food. If your loved one is too tired to eat, he or she will lose too much weight. You need to understand how to feed your loved one.

Scheduling activities that work with, not against, cancer treatments improves quality of life for your loved one. You need to know how chemotherapy affects your loved one in order to maximize the energy he or she has.

Still think you don't have a real job to do? The biggest problem for most cancer patients is managing the fear of the disease. What can you do to help your loved one? If you don't understand the toll cancer takes on relationships, you may find yourself feeling lost and alone.

A good family caregiver understands that cancer patients can be affected by the cancer treatments as much as the cancer. In order to help your loved one, you have to believe that what you do can have a positive outcome. But you won't feel that way until you accept that the quality of your caregiving will improve your loved one's chances of managing and navigating cancer.

You want your loved one to have the best medical treatment. Be part of that team. Learn about the disease and strategies to keep your loved one healthier. Take the first step. Have the courage to confront the disease, so your loved one can live better.

For help with your caregiving, visit www.practicalcaregiverguides.com

CAN NEW RESEARCH IN COLON CANCER BE A REASON TO HOPE FOR A CURE?

If you're caring for a loved one with colon cancer, you may take heart from new research. Two cancer studies have identified unusually high levels of a specific bacterium not usually found in the colon, Fusobacterium, in colon cancer tumors.

The study at the British Columbia Cancer Agency, headed by Dr. Robert A. Holt and his team, used genetic analysis to identify the unexpected connection in Canadian patients, according to a report in the NY Times by Gina Kolata:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/18/health/18cancer.html

Another study at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, led by Dr. Matthew Meyerson and his associates, found similar results in patients from the US, Vietnam, and Spain.

All patients studied had higher levels of the Fusobacterium in their tumors than found in normal colon cells. Dr. Holt found that some of his patients had an average of 415 times as many Fusobacteria as normal cells. Dr. Meyerson's research focused on the DNA aspect. He was unable to determine if the Fusobacteria is the trigger of the colon cancer or the cause of it, but the findings are considered provocative. Why? Because this may allow researchers to develop a vaccine to prevent colon cancer.

One question that cancer researchers will have to answer is whether inflammation, caused by the bacteria, is the start of colon cancer or if it speeds the development of cancer. Both Dr. Holt and Dr. Meyerson admit uncertainty in the cause and effect of Fusobacterium in colon cancer. But at least scientists have a potential culprit to investigate, examine, and follow.

For families with a loved one who has this disease, it can offer hope that somewhere, somehow, at some point in time, there may be answers about colon cancer, and with answers, there can be better disease management, treatment, and hopefully even a cure. Never give up hope!

DO YOU FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE YOU'RE HEALTHY?

HOW THE MACMILLAN CANCER SUPPORT DOES COFFEE

The world's biggest coffee morning -- how wonderful is that? Who doesn't like a cup of coffee and some schmoozing?

I know that health care in the UK is very different from in the US. There are charitable trusts to financially support cancer programs. What I love about UK cancer groups is that they make a huge push to bring it home to the people. Not only do they make the public more aware of their programs, they offer great connectivity between cancer patients and the rest of the world, the so-called "normal" population:

http://coffee.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx

Here's a little secret about events like this. They feel good. They feel human. They serve a real purpose, because they involve something we all enjoy doing -- socializing over coffee. It's part public awareness campaign, part fundraiser, and lots of fun. Not everyone can run a 5K or walk for a cause. But who can't sit down with friends and neighbors for a cup of coffee? It's so people-friendly.

The truth is there is nothing fun about cancer. It stinks. It changes families. It changes lives. It changes the people who have the disease. But when we connect on a human level and we reach out to share, that's when communities form. That's when support becomes real. "I've been there. Let me share with you the tricks I used to get through it."

A lot of people shy away from support groups. Sometimes emotions are just too raw, too close to the surface. People don't want to think about their feelings, let alone talk about them. That's why events like the World's Biggest Coffee Morning make sense. It's about coming together in a fun way to deal with a nasty disease. Hats off to the Macmillan Cancer Support people. This is a brilliant idea.

If you're a cancer caregiver, and you need tips and advice on helping your loved one, visit:

The Practical Caregiver Guides

CANCER CAREGIVING AND GUMPTION

A lot of people think that cancer caregivers are just there to drive folks back and forth to cancer treatment. You can call a taxi driver for that service. A real cancer caregiver is much more than that, and it's important to understand what a vital role he or she plays.

Cancer is a scary disease, no matter how you look at it. From the smallest skin cancer to the biggest malignant tumor, the psychological impact of cancer can often do almost as much damage as the disease or its treatment. That's why good cancer caregivers have gumption.

What's gumption? It's common sense, initiative, shrewdness, courage and resourcefulness. These are all the good qualities for a cancer caregiver. You look for ways to help your loved one navigate the cancer maze. Your confidence and faith that you can make a positive difference can often inspire your loved one to try a little harder to survive. It's not about fooling your loved one into believing that survival is possible. It's about convincing your loved one that life is still going to be okay with cancer, no matter what the outcome. That takes gumption.

Good cancer caregivers know that they're afraid for their loved ones, but they also know that they should step up to the plate and be a rock. It's about understanding that you're the shoulder to cry on, the one your loved one counts on to be steady and sure. When you have your own doubts, you take them elsewhere, because you know that your doubts will be a burden for your loved one. It's not that you don't worry, because you always do. It's that you share your fears with others, because you understand that you need to be the strength for your loved one.

Gumption makes good caregivers take advantage of the good times and make them better. Cancer changes everything, so finding the simple things to celebrate requires true spirit. You have to make excuses for enjoying life -- it's a beautiful day, it's a rainy day, it's a snowy day. A cancer caregiver with gumption doesn't care what the excuse is -- he or she finds a reason to laugh, to try something new, to get out and have some fun with the loved one.

Everywhere you look, you hear people describe cancer patients as brave souls who are fighting a terrific battle. The truth is cancer patients are just human beings, doing the best they can with what they've got. They have moments in which they feel confident and moments in which they have doubts. If they have caregivers with gumption, that's the kind of support that can help them through the dark moments.

You don't have to be perfect to be a cancer caregiver, but it helps to have gumption. You'll look for the opportunities to bring quality to life, to give comfort where comfort is needed and courage when courage is needed, to encourage laughter and love to fill the tiny cracks that form in the heart from the pain of having cancer. The truth is we're social creatures and having partners to help us on difficult stretches of the road of life matter. No one should ever face cancer alone. That's why good cancer caregivers have the guts to step up and step in to make a difference in the lives of cancer patients. We're smart enough to know that if the shoe were on the other foot, we'd want this kind of support.

LAUNCHING "IS MY CANCER DIFFERENT" -- CAN IT HELP YOU?

I'm a big believer in managing cancer by proactive effort. The more caregivers and cancer patients ask for information, the more they learn about it, the better the result. I've talked to a lot of people over the years and I am always surprised when I find out how many missed opportunities there are. Whether I am talking to a cancer widow who had no inkling that her husband's cancer situation was so dire, or a new caregiver who doesn't realize how important nutrition is for cancer survival, it strikes me that cancer education is critical to cancer management.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle for cancer patients and their families is that they are afraid to learn the truth. They hold back and hold it in, terrified to ask. Don't be afraid to dip your big toe into the water. Don't be afraid to get wet. Get yourself into the ocean of information about cancer. Learn to swim. The more you know about cancer, the better the outcome. Every cancer is different, just as every patient is different. It's not a one-size-fits-all situation, so being able to target the kind of cancer, the stage it's at, and the overall health of the individual patient means a better chance to manage the cancer. Generic cancer treatment often means the side effects overwhelm the patient, creating more problems than are solved. An individualized treatment plan takes into account the actual needs of the patient and works to insure that his or her health is better preserved. When an oncologist really seeks to understand a patient's specific cancer situation, the outcome will be improved.

GE Healthcare just launched a new health initiative designed to help cancer patients ask, "Is my cancer different?" Why is this question so critical? Not every cancer responds to normal cancer protocols of treatment. Not every cancer patient does well with every cancer drug. Molecular level diagnostics can make a difference in outcome. This allows the oncologist to individualize the cancer treatment. The goal is to utilize molecular level diagnostics to better fit individual needs.

As a cancer caregiver, one of the most important jobs you have is to understand that the right treatment can make all the difference in the world. You want your loved one to have a fighting chance. The smarter the fight, the better the outcome. Sometimes surviving that extra day in better shape allows a cancer patient a window of opportunity to move forward towards a cure. With cancer, there are never any guarantees, but you can and you should always advocate for the best treatment available for your loved one's cancer.

What does "Is My Cancer Different?" offer? This is a cancer education website. You can see patient-friendly informational videos. You can learn about new developments in cancer treatments. You can begin to understand that the better managed cancer is, the longer your loved one can not only live with cancer, but thrive. More birthdays, more joy, more laughter, more adventures, more life.

If you would like more information on "Is My Cancer Different?", check out their link:
http://www.IsMyCancerDifferent.com/

STILL ROOM FOR LEARNING

One of the toughest obstacles to overcome when a loved one has a serious disease is sometimes the chronic boredom that results from being stuck in bed. Whether adult or child, it's hard to keep the brain interested and motivated in everyday life. As time goes on, it becomes easy to just let the hours pass by. After all, bedridden people are sick, so they should just languish there, parked in front of a TV, taking it easy.

The problem with that is people tend to give up -- first on their own lives, and then on the world in general. Boredom can mask depression, and depression can take the fight out of any human being. When a person loses interest in learning, it's a signal that there is less interest in life itself.

Squeezing in little moments of learning throughout the day, especially for children with cancer, can keep an interest in life active. Real learning peaks curiosity, and curiosity spurs learning. Why are things the way they are? How do things work? Challenging the mind to figure out puzzles sends a strong message. There are still mountains to climb, seas to explore, even if it all happens in bed.

As an educator, I have always been of the mindset that learning should be fun and that the more fun it is, the more we learn. Why? Because it sweeps us up and carries us along by momentum. We get into the flow of a discussion and we turn our brains on. We want to participate. We want to share. It takes us out of ourselves and makes us a part of a bigger group, providing socialization. And socialization is a very big part of staying involved in life. The more connected we feel to our fellow human beings, the more intertwined our lives are.

How do you, as a cancer caregiver, keep your loved one interested in learning, especially during chemotherapy? Anyone with "chemo brain" can tell you how hard it is to focus on details. Even people who were wizards of crossword puzzles often stumble during chemotherapy. Does that mean your loved one should stop trying to do the crossword puzzle? No. It means sometimes, when a word is on the tip of the tongue, but the brain can't call it up, having a dictionary handy can help. It means using a pencil temporarily, instead of a pen. It means that when you play Scrabble or Bananas with a loved one affected that way, you turn the game from a competitive activity to a cooperative one. You play together, side by side, and make the challenge about your loved one succeeding. The reality is that sometimes chemotherapy is a handicap to thinking.

Children love games, and some favorite childhood choices are still easy even during cancer treatment. Many adults think that children's games involve a lot of equipment and time. Some of the best games to play with children are the simplest, especially during chemotherapy. For example, "I Spy" is a verbal and visual game, with no pieces to move. All it takes is for the leader to look around the room, find one item, and decide that is "it". He or she says, "I spy with my little eye something...." and includes a one-word description. The item could have a particular color or shape or size, something that leads the players to look around their surroundings and guess. It forces them to become better observers. You can even play "Simon Says" with a child in bed. You just scale it down to what the child is capable of doing. "Simon says wink your eye. Simon says make a funny face. Pat your head...." Playing games means being mentally active. Give a direction and it stimulates the brain. Suddenly, the whole body is paying attention to the activity, not the cancer.

That's the real key to helping someone stuck in bed because of a serious illness. When the flesh is weak, the mind can become a strength. It can take you out of your surroundings, out of your trapped body, and put you in a novel situation. Travel documentaries can broaden anyone's horizon, but never more so than when a person is confined to a recliner or bed. Learning about an exotic country, culture, animal, or environment provides viewers with an opportunity to see a hidden part of the world that would otherwise be passed by. Suddenly, we wonder about a particular island on the other side of the world, a unique way of life, a jungle cat that is rarely observed in the wild, or a mountain that is covered by snow for most of the year. That helps people who are stuck in bed to transcend the routineness of their everyday existence as patients in favor of embracing another view of the world. It becomes a kind of freedom.

When a person is limited physically by disease, it can feel like he or she is trapped. The four walls that surround him or her can begin to feel like a prison, and if the disease is serious enough, it can feel like a life sentence. That's why it's important for cancer caregivers to understand that loved ones sometimes need gentle encouragement to rise above those constraints, whether children or adults. So often caregivers see a loved one resting and the inclination is to not interfere, to not disturb. And yet, sometimes having an interesting discussion or some hearty belly laughs are just what the patient needs to feel a little less lonely, a little less stuck.

Don't be afraid to liven things up for your loved one. Watch an interesting TV show together once in a while and talk about it. Pick up a book or magazine and share it. Play a game together. Promote the idea that a loved one with cancer is still a vital human being with something to offer the world and then find ways to help your loved one be that person. Help him or her to rise above disease by utilizing the mind, because that is where we all find hope, and without hope, we often miss the opportunity to find life. Cancer patients need to live their lives as actively as they can, even if they have to do it in bed.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES FOR LUNG CANCER PATIENTS

I'm a firm believer in palliative care, especially for cancer patients. I also believe in the virtues of hospice. But truth be told, sometimes the best thing a cancer patient can do is survive the day. Why? Because every day, cancer researchers are making strides. If you're a caregiver for a lung cancer patient, you know the serious nature of the disease, especially in the later stages.

New drugs are constantly coming on the market to treat various forms of cancer. Recently, several media organizations ran articles on a new lung cancer drug by Pfizer to help certain patients. Here's the Wall Street Journal's article on crizotinib:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903352704576538683370950462.html

What percentage of lung cancer patients can benefit from normal chemotherapy? Sadly, only about 10%. But according to published reports, researchers identified an ALK gene in 3-5% lung cancer patients. In a drug test, those with the ALK gene got crizotinib and the results were impressive in tumor reduction -- 60% of the 82 patients benefited.

Why does it matter that more than half of a small group of patients saw their tumors melt away? These are people who lived another day, whose lives were continued. Where there is life, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is opportunity. Sometimes the biggest obstacle for lung cancer patients is the fight to overcome the fear and depression of living with what is, in its later stages, a terminal illness. Every little bit brings us closer to a cure, and with it, the promise of a better tomorrow.

If you would like more information on cancer caregiving, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides:

www.practicalcaregiverguides.com

"SERIAL CAREGIVER ON THE LOOSE, FILM AT 11...."

When you read the word "serial", do you conjure up a negative response? After all, serial criminals are usually dangerous. Serial liars can be counted on to bend the truth. So, what is a serial caregiver? And are you one?

I came up with the term to describe a lot of caregivers caring for people with manageable diseases like cancer. Unless your loved one is getting progressively worse, his or her cancer is likely to be treated more than once over time. That means that you're likely to resume most, if not all, of your normal activities when your loved one's cancer is under control, and you'll have your life turned upside down during those times when it returns. You'll give care during chemotherapy and take a step back when the nasty side effects fade away. The more often your loved one needs treatment, the more often your life is disrupted. Both you and your loved one will ride this roller coaster together, finding your hopes and dreams tossed over the side of the car as you go flying around the curves that cancer throws at you.

In some ways, being a serial caregiver is harder than being any other kind of caregiver, because it's often a shock to find that the cancer has reoccurred or popped up in a new location in your loved one's body. You have to stop what you're doing in your own life and become a family caregiver again. Not only do you have to deal with your loved one's disappointment, you have to deal with your own.

Serial caregivers have to deal with more than just physical issues, because with every new discovery of cancer in loved ones, there is the attached terror. Is the cancer spreading? Can it be controlled? Managed? Stopped? Cured?

It's important for cancer caregivers to understand serial caregiving. The better you appreciate the issues you are likely to face, the better you will be able to meet your loved one's ever-changing needs for care. Cancer disrupts life. Minimize the trauma by being prepared.

If you would like more information on issues that often arise in cancer caregiving, check out The Practical Caregiver Guides:

www.practicalcaregiverguides.com

WRITING A CANCER BLOG IS A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE

A lot of people write blogs these days -- about their favorite food, entertainment, experiences and activities, sports teams, personal philosophy of life -- you name it and people write about it. But for me, it's all about helping caregivers and their families get through what they have to get through, because I've been there and I know how tough it is.

But writing a cancer blog is a humbling experience for me. Why? Because no matter what I write, when I get feedback, I know that I am in the company of amazing people. Little trickles of information come through about what life is like for these people, and that tantalizes me. So many times I am left with more questions to ask.

When I wrote a blog entry to "Donna M Down in Florida", people wanted to know how she's doing. I'm happy to say that I took a quick peek today and she's getting out and about, taking a boat trip and even planning a party. I wish you blue skies, Donna -- nothing but blue skies from now on.

I got a comment from "Nancy" recently. "I took care of my mom who had breast cancer and two years after she died, I was diagnosed myself...." Wow. Nancy, did it help you to handle your own cancer diagnosis to have been there with your mom? Or was it harder, thinking your cancer would follow that same course as your mom's? What worked because of your experience and what didn't? I wanted to know because I am convinced that a big part of cancer management is all about being proactive, but I also know sometimes it doesn't matter what you do -- cancer is cancer. Nancy, if you read this and you feel like sharing, I'd love to have your thoughts on how you decided to handle your cancer, and if you'd like to tell the world, I'll be happy to help you do that.

Another recent commentary was by Crabby Cancer Wife, married to Crabby Cancer Man, now going through his second round. She has her own blog:
http://crabbycancerwife.wordpress.com/

Feisty, funny, irreverent, thought-provoking, and yes -- crabby -- you can see her working her way through the annoyances of being a cancer caregiver and spouse. She's taking her situation and using it to figure out how to keep going. She doesn't hold back her opinions, so don't expect pleasantries and a spoonful of sugar. My mother would have thought she was a spitfire. But you know what? If you're a cancer patient fighting this disease, it can be great to have someone at your side who's loaded for bear. When she takes aim at cancer, watch out!

Along the way, I've met so many people who have touched me with their own personal stories and experiences. Maybe that's why it is so humbling to write about cancer. It touches so many lives. No matter where I go or who I talk to these days, everyone knows someone who's waged the battle. We're all connected. Read the obituary pages and you'll read about people who have lived for more than a decade with cancer. Look at Bernardine Healy, former head of the National Institutes of Health and the Red Cross. This medical expert and educator survived two bouts of brain cancer over more than a decade until her recent death. That's the thing about cancer. It doesn't care who or what you are, whether you're a liberal or a conservative, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, happy in your life or miserable. Doesn't it make you wonder what Dr. Healy's approach was when she first learned she had a brain tumor? How did she decide where to go for treatment, and what options were best for her? Is that how she survived as long as she did?

That's another humbling thing about writing a cancer blog. I care about survival, but I also care about quality of life. How do you get the best treatment without being sidelined by the misery of chemotherapy? Watch how oncologists diagnosed with cancer do things. They're out there, and if we're lucky, they share their experiences. When they say they use palliative care to get through chemo, take note. This is something to put into your cancer arsenal. The better a cancer patient can get through chemo, without being laid low, the better the chances for a little more time. With a little more time, there's a little more hope -- for a cure, for a reprieve, for remission. That means more lives are lived and more things are happening -- more people are creating, producing, making, and managing all kinds of wonderful projects that can make a difference. Will all cancer patients and their caregivers change the world? I doubt it. People are people, after all. Some are born to greatness, some are born to mediocrity, and the rest of us fall somewhere in between. But from pain often comes inspiration to be more, to do more, and to share with the world. That's the thing about cancer patients and their caregivers. We share experiences and form bonds. We build on that to create a global community. Maybe the next comic genius is the man who survives cancer because people reached out to him. Maybe the woman who writes the next great novel does so because she had the right kind of cancer treatment and a whole lot of support to help her through it. Somewhere in the back of most people's minds, we think about making our mark in the world. The thing about cancer is it sometimes forces you out of your complacency to be more than you ever expected to be. You reach deep and you pull out a piece of wisdom you pass on, and in return, you find wisdom handed to you in little increments that help you get through the cancer experience. You learn from the people around you and you do the best you can. It's never easy. Writing a cancer blog is humbling, but that's because cancer is such a tough teacher.

IS TECHNOLOGY A GOOD OPTION FOR OVERCOMING NEUROPATHY?

I met a Stage 4 cancer survivor on a cruise last summer -- although our contact was limited to a couple of meals in shared company, he made a big impact on me. Why? Because Tom had outlived all predictions, beaten the odds when there shouldn't have been any chance of winning, and most of all, because Tom was a smart, funny, personable man with a lot to offer any conversation.

Months after I returned, I thought about things Tom said in group conversations. His biggest regret? Having to retire because of his cancer. That really stayed with me. Here was a man who had spent his entire career learning the ins and outs of community banking. He had more knowledge about strategies that apply, how the little banks are often the backbone of the community, and how critical it is that customers feel that their banks are working with them, not against them.

What does a man or woman do when cancer claims a career? In many ways, it depends on the career and what adaptive tools can keep your loved one going. Often, especially with neuropathy, the loss of hand function is incredibly frustrating and limiting. In Tom's case, I came to the conclusion that he would have made an amazing consultant to any community bank, but for the challenges of neuropathy. In a case like that, what might Tom have used to overcome the obstacle? What about voice recognition software? Not only can a user access and respond to emails, write documents, and use voice commands to direct computer actions, this technology comes standard on a lot of newer computers. From the line of MAC products to any computer, netbook, or tablet that uses Windows operating system, voice recognition is already an option. In addition, there are even apps that can be downloaded for smart phones to assist anyone with neuropathy to get around the typing obstacle.

To find out if your computer or MAC already has it, use the search word "accessibility". Do the same for any smart phones, tablets, netbooks, or other recent products. You may already have what you need right at your fingertips.

But even better options are available, some for a fee. Maybe your loved one is too easily fatigued to hold a Kindle, Nook, or any other electronic book reader. He or she can just sit back, relax, and listen. It's not even necessary to hold the book. If you have an MP3 player or an IPod, you can download items for your loved one's listening pleasure. Whether it's professional or pleasure reading your loved one wants to do, text-to-speech technology can help get it done.

If you really want to get clever, why not offer your loved one a voice-to-text tool? You can even buy software programs developed for professionals which let your loved one dictate with a minimum of mistakes. Whether it's voice-to-text or text-to-speech, there are options that can help your loved one stay as active and productive as possible during cancer treatment and management.

What about kids with cancer? Unleashing their creativity can be the difference between a child languishing in bed and a child setting the world on fire. Whether the technologies are used to help children write school papers and keep up with homework, or download and listen to their favorite stories, how can that ever be a bad thing? The wonderful thing about children is they exist half-way between the world of make-believe and the real world. If you've ever encouraged a child to create a story, you know there's no way of knowing what the end result is going to be. The process is always interesting. Hand a child the equipment that will help him or her tell a story and you may be surprised at the wonderful treasures that result. Children can do more than just school work with these programs. They can dictate emails to Grandma and Grandpa on the computer and listen to the replies that come back to them. They can even improve their reading skills when they follow the printed word on the computer screen.

Some of these also come in several languages, even the text-to-speech programs. NextUp offers so many voices and accents for its readers through its ATT Natural Voices, it's like a walk through the United Nations.

Some people hesitate to offer up assistive technology to cancer patients, as if it will make their loved ones feel more handicapped. If you're feeling like it would be offensive to suggest your loved one try it, consider this. Busy people already use these technologies to make their lives easier. Whether it's writing a forty-page report or making notes on a big project that's due, a number of working individuals are getting the job done. If it's good enough for productive people, isn't it good enough for your loved one? This kind of software is likely to be used by your loved one well after the neuropathy fades away. And by suggesting it, you're sending a couple of really great messages to your loved one -- that he or she still has a lot of living to do, that he or she still has a lot to share with the world, and that cancer doesn't get to take away anyone's voice. Whether it's reading to your loved one or dictating for your loved one, having this can make a big difference in slipping in a little hope on that rocky cancer road. We all want to feel like we can still get things done. It's important to self-esteem, to our view of the world, and to how we function when we are forced down by physical obstacles. Your loved one may never write the next great novel or reinvent the wheel, but he or she probably has something the world needs to hear. Why not help make that happen? Here are a couple of helpful products:

Dragon Naturally Speaking (PC and MAC versions):
http://www.nuance.com/

NextUp Text Aloud:
http://www.nextup.com/

HOW ABOUT A CANCER CARAVAN?

Wouldn't it be fun for cancer families to get together for a long summer weekend and have a cancer caravan? Whether it's heading to the mountains for a camp-out or to the lake to board a houseboat flotilla, getting together with other people who understand what your loved one is going through can be very comforting.

How would you go about setting something like this up? First, you'd have to pick a location that has access to good emergency medicine. It's always smart to be prepared, "just in case...." You never know when something might happen, be it an infection or a cut. If you know you'll be able to get to a medical center within a reasonable amount of time, you'll be able to relax and enjoy the trip more, won't you? Take New Hampshire, for example. Lots of wonderful mountains and lakes, not to mention Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center. That makes it a good choice for a cancer caravan. If you coordinate with your loved one's cancer team before you go, you can feel fairly confident that your loved one will get quality treatment,  if needed, while on vacation. Know what the procedure is before you go. Does the cancer center want you to call in first, so they can directly contact the medical center, or do they want you to provide the treating physician with the cancer team contact? Get that straight and you'll be able to kick back.

Why go with a group of other cancer patients? There are several good reasons. First, it's nice to be with people who get what your loved one is going through. With kids who have cancer, it's freeing to be able to hang out without having to worry about missing your hair or feeling weak. When you're the only kid at the party with a bald head or forced to stay out of the sun because of chemotherapy and radiation issues, it can be a lonely journey. When there's a group in the same dire straights, you're no longer the geek with the Big C. If you have to stay out of the sun, you at least have some good company and the chance to still have fun, whether it's fishing or playing cards. If there are siblings, it's nice for them to hang out with other siblings who know the deep, dark cave that is cancer, where life is uncertain and scary. And it's nice for parents to be able to share the duties with other parents. It starts to form a mini-cancer community, where people work together to give families the fun they need.

But it's not only children and teens with cancer who can benefit from a cancer caravan. Why not adults? Why not do a "couples weekend" or a "family fiesta" for adult cancer patients and the people who matter to them? You can also "buddy up". Whether it's the girls' weekend away or a fishing trip for the guys, your loved one can bring a buddy to do the heavy lifting. Rent a group of cabins in the woods and gather there with others going through the cancer experience. Imagine your loved one being able to rest on the deck of a houseboat, shaded from the sun, enjoying the gentle breeze, the smell of the pine trees, and the chance to feel like "a normal person" again, even just for a long weekend. It's important to factor in your loved one's needs, especially if he or she is still experiencing the side effects of cancer treatment. Are there special nutritional needs? Is a daily nap important?

It doesn't have to be a big, complicated process to get folks together for a long weekend. Pick a spot, invite folks to come along, and make the necessary arrangements. If you're nervous about how it will work out, why not start with a day trip? Hold a day-long picnic party at a woodsy park. Invite folks to bring food to share. Get everyone into the spirit of the day. Foster cooperation and consideration. When you're confident that families are ready to handle a long weekend away, get together and hash out the details.

Cancer support groups could even host trips for their cancer families, with planned activities in a safe outdoor environment, be it lake or mountains. Keep the costs down and the fun quotient up. Lots of activities don't cost a cent. Gather round the grill or campfire at the end of the day and make some s'mores. Tell some ghost stories, sing songs, share some laughs, play charades. Watch the fireflies flicker in the woods or the shooting stars fall through the night sky above. Do it with people who share the cancer experience and build on that camaraderie. These are the folks who are part of your extended cancer family. They know your pain and you know theirs.

What can cancer patients expect to get out of a cancer caravan? How about the opportunity to see that this disease affects people in similar and dissimilar ways? And how do families benefit? For spouses who are struggling with their loved ones' cancer, it can be very comforting to hang out with other spouses of people who are managing cancer. For best friends, it's a chance to remember that friendship is about rising above the challenges. For families, it's a chance to realize that you are not alone. Cancer changes how families live. There is strength in numbers. Wisdom is often passed along when people get together. And hope grows when people begin to understand what is most important in life. Live each day like it matters, because it does.

COOL SUMMER FUN WITHOUT THE DIRECT SUN

Cancer patients who have had radiation treatment know that exposure to sunlight can be risky for their radiated skin. And chemotherapy can intensify the damaging effects of sunlight during treatment. What's a cancer patient to do while having treatment? Curl up under a rock? Hide in the house all summer long? Balderdash, I say! It's time to get around that big, fat obstacle and have some cool summer fun!


Some cancer patients mourn the loss of their days in the sun. It's just one more blow to endure. Family caregivers can make all the difference in the world by thinking outside the box. If the beach is out of the question, don't let your loved one despair. There are always options.

Yesterday, I took the dog for a long hike through the forest on a hot day. The birds were singing at high noon. We were comfortable under the leafy canopy. Along side the trail, water gurgled in the stream. As I crossed the meadow, the sweet smell of grass and wild flowers filled the air. And then I reached the top of the hill, where the reservoir sat in all its glory. Blue sky, clear water, surrounded by forest -- what could be more glorious? I kicked myself for not bringing my camera with me. I could have painted a wonderful waterscape back in my art studio. But even as I sat upon the reservoir wall, I took in all that beauty and thought about how much my mother would have loved this peaceful place.

That got me thinking. Cancer treatment was tough on my mother. Anyone who's been through it knows what I'm talking about -- whether it's radiation burns or "chemo brain", it's always something. That's why having a tranquil outdoor sanctuary can be a real soul saver. But how can you share a wonderful spot like this with someone who has limited stamina and can't spend much, if any, time in the sun? How do you capture the majesty of a fine summer day for a cancer patient?

What about renting a paddle or pedal boat? Many public parks and vacation resorts offer these with Bimini shade tops. Even some aluminum fishing boats can be rented with a top. For about $15-$20 an hour, you can take your loved one around the lake. Pack a picnic lunch and bring a cooler. Some pedal boats can even seat four, so your loved one can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the view. If he or she loves to fish, go for the canopied fishing boat rental and drop a line for a couple of hours. What a great way to spend a summer day, even if you don't catch anything.

But what about cancer patients who have families on vacation? It's hard to do family activities with the limitations of cancer treatment, unless you get creative. Why not take the gang on a pontoon or patio boat? You can rent one of these for $200-$300 for half a day. Easy to navigate, you can even rent a tube to tow. What kid wouldn't love an adventure like that? Some pontoon and patio boats come with luxury touches, like BBQ grills, CD/stereo players, and comfortable seating. Some are built for 6 passengers, others for up to about 18 passengers. That means you could plan a group outing and really crank up the "cool" factor. If your loved one is feeling energetic, he or she can certainly slip into the lake for a dip. But if cancer treatment has put a limit on physical activities, what could be more lovely than spending an afternoon under a protective canopy? Your loved one can dose comfortably while the rest of the crew hangs out. Whether it's a lake in New Hampshire, New York, Missouri, South Carolina, or California, getting out and feeling connected to nature can feed the soul of a cancer patient. It's all about feeling alive. It's all about being a part of life. Surrounded by the people you love, comforted by the tranquility of a beautiful waterway -- does summer get any better than this? 

Oh, wait. Maybe it could -- there are always houseboats to rent. Now there's an ultimate vacation for a cancer patient -- spend a week on the lake, just kicking back and being free. Whether it's a trip with college buddies, grandkids, or the immediate family, houseboats offer the chance to socialize and play on the water. Self-contained, with plenty of shade and all the necessary comforts, houseboats allow cancer patients to vacation without stress or exertion. That's really what a summer vacation is all about, isn't it? A little slice of paradise....

IS IT HARD FOR TEENAGERS TO HAVE CANCER?

Teenagers -- they have one foot in childhood and one foot in adulthood. Poised to move forward into the future, they sometimes teeter back and forth before they take those important steps. Much like toddlers learn to walk physically, teenagers learn to walk emotionally and mentally. They try on adulthood for size. Sometimes that can be very scary.

What happens to teenagers who find their lives turned upside down by cancer? How are they affected? And why is it different than what children go through?

Children often are shielded from the harsher realities of cancer and its treatment. They may know they have a frightening disease, but they often don't have the ability to mentally conceptualize it. Their concept of disease and death depends on where they are in their development. They feel the physical symptoms and side effects deeply, but they are still young enough and vulnerable enough to reach out to the adults in their lives for comfort and support.

Teenagers often have a deeper grasp of many of life's realities, but they are trying to move away from their parents' rule. A certain amount of rebellion is healthy, as is an independent streak. The long road to adulthood is paved with firsts -- the first date, the first kiss, the first dance, the first drive, even the first heartbreak. Teenagers know the ups and downs of life. One moment they can be floating on air as they score a field goal or belt out a show tune on the high school stage for the first time, and the next, they can be crushed by a bad grade or a bad break-up. Teenagers are filled with joy or despair, passionately, deeply, and truly, even if these emotions change constantly. They are like an unsettled weather front rolling in -- you're never sure whether you'll see sun or clouds, whether there will be wind or rain. And those are teenagers without cancer.

What happens to those who face that diagnosis? How do they cope? What gets them through the process? And how do parents know what part of the emotions their teens experience is the result of the cancer and what part is just the normal result of reaching towards adulthood?

How do teenagers, who are so easily affected by their ever changing emotions, hang on to hope when they face cancer? At a time when they are spreading their wings and taking short breaks from the nest, when they are beginning to understand that the big world awaits them, cancer can stop them from flying. Fear can keep them from taking normal risks and exploring their new frontier.

It takes a lot of support for teenagers to go through cancer. Parents and other relatives can help. Having the chance to put cancer aside once in a while and just be a teenager can also help. It's not always easy to help one to go through the normal rituals of these years when he or she is battling cancer. But that doesn't mean families shouldn't try.

When there are obstacles, it's time to climb -- over, under, or around. Sometimes enabling a teenager with cancer to live as normal a teenage life as possible can be very cathartic for the whole family. Whether it's going to the prom with a  favorite hat on or a colorful wig in a wild color, it's important to have the chance to attend. What happens if a teenager isn't physically able to attend a high school prom or junior high dance because the effects of treatment prevent it? Why not hold a special event when things are better? Whether it's a block party with neighbors and friends pitching in, a big summer pool party, or a special night at the local high school with students and teachers getting it organized, is there ever a bad excuse for  holding a celebration? Life itself is the best reason of all to gather. Teenagers need to have the chance to enjoy as many of those important milestones as they can.

What about their parents? Imagine missing the opportunities to watch sons and daughters venture out into the world. Photo albums left empty. Videos never taken. Memories never made. It's not just teenagers who need these experiences and rituals. Parents also need to share in these moments, to recognize their children are growing up -- maybe more so than parents of healthy teenagers. Cancer is a very scary disease, and having the chance to see teenagers engaging in normal activities can help parents cope with that stress. It gives them a chance to feel like "normal" parents, even if it's just for an evening here or a day there. It's so easy for cancer to take over a family, to consume it like a fire, sucking all the oxygen out of the room. Sometimes letting go of the disease is good for the soul.

WHY FOLLOW DIRECTIONS AFTER RADIATION TREATMENT?

Many cancer patients receive radiation treatments, often in addition to chemotherapy and surgery. In the best case scenario, there is little damage. Very often, radiation can alleviate pain when nothing else works. For example, when cancer spreads to a rib, a few sessions of radiation can make all the difference in the world. But with radiation, there often come side effects that warrant serious attention from family caregivers.

One of the most important side effects can be the radiation burns that result. Very often, these build up over the course of treatment. You might see an increase in redness on the skin at the sites where your loved one is radiated. It looks a lot like a really bad sunburn, and it's hot to the touch. It can also be uncomfortable to endure. Many radiologists recommend skin creams to soothe the fragile skin. Why should you encourage your loved one to use these? Skin is vulnerable after radiation. And when it is, infection can follow.

It's important for cancer caregivers to remember that very often cancer patients have compromised immune systems. It's hard for them to fight off infections. Protecting the skin after radiation means lowering the risk of infection. That's why, if the radiology team recommends a certain type of skin product for after treatment, you should not only make sure you obtain it, you should strongly encourage your loved one to use it.

Sometimes cancer patients are reluctant to involve family members in seeing the damage done by the treatment, especially if they need assistance in applying the skin product. They may want to spare you the unpleasant moments. But if you educate yourself about these side effects, you can help your loved one cope better. The cancer treatment team is there to answer questions and recommend ways to ease the discomfort of radiation burns, whether it's itching or pain.

But what about eco-conscious caregivers? It's tempting sometimes to substitute natural and organic remedies for products the medical team recommends. After all, if it's just a soothing balm, there's no real problem in substituting a natural healing remedy, is there?

Many people don't realize that a number of "natural" products contain allergy-inducing ingredients. (As an allergy sufferer, I can attest to the number of times I've had an allergy attack triggered at the hair salon by a well-meaning hairdresser who thinks "organic" is harmless.) If you know your loved one has allergies, you need to read all labels before providing natural and organic skin products to your loved one.

A word of caution -- Many people are unaware they have allergies, and often just think they are repeatedly suffering from itchy skin or a lingering cold. If you're not sure about symptoms your loved one has, ask a medical professional to explain to you the difference between eczema and contact dermatitis and a cold and an allergy attack.

What is the likely outcome of using natural and organic skin products with an allergy sufferer? He or she can wind up with dermatitis, and if that becomes inflamed, the chances of an infection increase, especially if the skin breaks. Other symptoms also include breathing difficulties, runny nose, and the normal symptoms associated with allergies. For cancer patients, having a skin or sinus infection as the result of an undiagnosed allergy can be a serious complication, especially if the immune system is struggling.

What kinds of ingredients can trigger an allergy attack? Many of the natural and organic skin products use emollients from almonds, argan, coconut, macadamias, peanuts, and even seeds like sunflower. They may or may not trigger contact dermatitis, depending on the allergies your loved one experiences. Today, many products, even those not certified as organic, use ingredients like chamomile. They are in skin lotions, shampoos, conditioners, and other beauty products. Always read the label and be aware of the potential.

But there are also other potential allergy triggers, especially for skin that has been damaged by radiation. Some products use fragrance, and that can also increase itching, which often results in scratching, and that can break the skin.

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the tried and true, the products without a lot of bells and whistles. That's why you should take the advice of the medical team on what products work best with radiation burns, and how best to use them. Don't think that skin will be okay on its own after radiation. Do your part to understand radiation burns and how to protect your loved one from further harm.

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CANCER CAREGIVING AND BASIC CAREGIVING?

Many people think caregiving is caregiving. One size fits all. The truth is that cancer caregiving is very different than basic caregiving.

In basic caregiving, the need for the care can be the result of anything from heart disease to ALS to recovery after a traumatic injury. The one consistent thing is that a loved one needs continued care over time, usually on an ongoing basis over time. There is often a consistency to the care, although the intensity of it may vary depending on the loved one's health at any given moment in time.

How does this differ from cancer caregiving? The treatment for the disease often causes more problems than the disease itself. Not only is the loved one coping with cancer, he or she is often rendered more helpless by neuropathy, nausea, "chemo brain", and even just the fear that comes with a cancer diagnosis.

But maybe the most important difference is that cancer patients often experience good times and bad, so their need for care depends on where they are in their treatment and management of cancer. A cancer patient may be knocked off his or her feet during the duration of active treatment, but then begin to slowly resume normal activities over time, once the chemotherapy and radiation stops. A cancer patient who has surgery may need recovery time, physical therapy, and the chance to feel more like his or her old self before life begins to find the balance again.

What does this mean for caregivers? You need to be more flexible in your approach to caregiving. You need to learn when to step forward and when to step back. Your goal is never to take over from the cancer patient and create dependency. And you must always understand that when a cancer patient feels that he or she needs to take back control of life, it's part of the healing. It's a way to manage the disease so the disease doesn't manage the cancer patient.

Cancer is the one disease that really has unique needs for care. Very often, the biggest issue for cancer caregivers is helping a loved one to survive with the fear that the disease can and may return. Now that cancer patients are living longer and better, it's about managing the disease to improve the quality of that survival.

Comfort care, also known as palliative care, is one of the greatest ways to help cancer patients survive the rigors of treatments. Many cancer patients don't know or understand what pain management can do to improve the outcome. When your loved one is being treated for cancer with powerful chemotherapy drugs, the experience can be brutal. With comfort care, patients often experience fewer nasty side effects, which enable them to better tolerate the needed drugs. The nausea can be controlled. For some cancer patients, the treatment can leave them feeling and looking like the walking dead if they don't take advantage of palliative care.

Sometimes the best thing a cancer caregiver can do for a loved one is to help put aside the cancer and just live in the moment. When cancer looms above every conversation, dangling as an unspoken thought, it casts a pall on any meaningful sharing. It's the elephant in the room. It's the bull in the china shop. It's the skunk at the picnic. Everyone is waiting for the next bad bit of news. The dread can linger long after the cancer goes into remission. That's why a good cancer caregiver learns to focus on the good, the "here-and-now" moments and takes advantage of them. Help your loved one to enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow. Don't wait for that special time to celebrate life. Appreciate the opportunities you have. This is one time when a bird in the hand is definitely worth more than two birds in the bush.

Cancer caregiving, more than basic caregiving, is all about the emotional support and empowerment of a loved one, with periods of sometimes intense physical care and sometimes no physical care at all. It's a roller coaster of symptom management and psychological coping. It's never about one way of doing things. It's about understanding your loved one and helping him or her to navigate through the cancer and its treatment in ways that allow for the maximum opportunity to pursue life.

Cancer caregiving is best done with a solid understanding of the type of cancer, the stage of cancer, the type of treatment, the side effects, and the options for palliative care. Embrace your responsibilities by knowing that how you make your approach to cancer caregiving really can help your loved one better survive the disease.

CHEERING UP THE HOME CARE SETTING

Does color matter to someone who is ill? Can a warm, friendly environment make a difference to someone dealing with a serious illness like cancer?

I'm a firm believer in shaking things up when they aren't working right. I'm also someone who thinks that it's really not that hard to look around a room and see ways to inexpensively change things to make them better. But can it make a difference for someone who is ill?

In order to understand this concept, you have to put yourself in the shoes of your loved one. How limiting is the illness? Does he or she have trouble getting around the house? Are stairs just too daunting to navigate? Are things that could be utilized now out of sight and reach because your loved one just doesn't have the energy to cover the territory?

When you view the home setting from the perspective of your loved one, you begin to understand the personal losses. For example, in the last six months of her life, my mother never had the chance to sleep in her own bed because she couldn't climb the stairs. That meant her whole world had changed. The room she had slept in for the last fifty years was no longer accessible for her. Her world became the home care room, and she spent almost all of her time in it as her health declined.

Even cancer patients who are temporarily limited in their mobility can feel cut off from their normal lives. It's important for caregivers to understand how this can affect the human psyche. Not only do you have this terrible, unpredictable disease and an uncertain future, you don't have your "stuff" to make you feel like yourself.

When you look at the main living space for your loved one with cancer, think about ways you can change things up to make it better. Could the walls use a new coat of paint? Don't hesitate to tackle this kind of project. Benjamin Moore offers a great paint that has virtually no odor, so it won't negatively impact your loved one. Other paint companies have similar products. The paint dries quickly, cleans up with a damp sponge, and the color you add to the walls can add a sense of new life to an old space.

If your loved one is sleeping more, especially during the day, you can add color with blinds, fabric shades, or even new drapes as a way to enliven the home care setting.

Does your loved one spend the bulk of time in the family room, dozing on and off while watching TV, especially after chemotherapy? Do you have a big, soft, comfy recliner in the room? That can be a great addition to the home care setting. The opportunity to relax in a chair that reclines gives your loved one the chance to feel normal, while still taking into account the limitations that cancer treatment puts on him or her.

But you can also do other things to improve the home care environment. Ask your loved one what you can bring into the room. If he or she has a favorite piece of furniture, why not move it into the space where your loved one spends the most time? If there are favorite photos or paintings or prints, why not adorn the walls with these?

Give yourself and your loved one permission to change things for the better. Why keep things the way they used to be, when your loved one has new needs? Accept the change and adapt to it. It's not a sign of defeat to acknowledge your loved one can no longer do certain things or use certain rooms because of a lack of mobility or energy. When you change the environment for your loved one, you're actually saying that life goes on and you're going to make the best of it. You take the home decorating bull by the horns and you add new energy to the room. Whether your loved one is a child, a teenager, an adult, or a senior citizen, redecorating the home care setting to fit his or her needs makes sense. It creates a sense of belonging in the family, even with cancer creating problems. What you're telling your loved one is that this space is for healing -- this space is for feeling better.

What colors should you put on the walls? What colors can make a difference? Well, why not take advantage of the techniques used in healthcare facilities by professionals? This article by Kim Baughan-Young in Managed Care Magazine, explains how color can help stimulate healing for patients.Kim is an interior designer AND a licensed therapist, a great combination in health care design:
http://www.managedcaremag.com/archives/0111/0111.colors.html

Always adapt your ideas to fit your loved one's needs when changing your loved one's home care setting. Make the space as user-friendly as possible.

If you're feeling overwhelmed at the thought of redecorating a whole room, stop a moment, take a deep breath, and think. What little changes can you do here and there? Start small. Work towards a bigger goal. I understand how limited a caregiver's energy can be. But sometimes these changes don't just improve the mood of a patient. They can also help a caregiver to feel more optimistic and cheerful. Whether it's adding a soft, attractive blanket for napping or changing a lamp to better suit your loved one's needs while reading in a recliner, little touches mean a lot. Make them practical, positive, and pleasant. That's how you can make a difference at home.

COLON CANCER ALLIANCE -- FAMILY MATTERS CONFERENCE

Are you a colon or rectal cancer survivor or a caregiver to one? If so, you might be interested in the upcoming national conference, "Family Matters: What You and Your Family Need to Know About Colon Cancer". It's being held in Denver, June 23-25:
http://www.ccalliance.org/

Why is this national conference important? I read the planned topics for discussion. They include sessions on information for the newly diagnosed, the long-term survivor, legal and employment issues, parenting a child when you have cancer, and what children need to understand about a parent's cancer. There are sessions on ostomies, pregnancy, and even sexual function. There's even a session for caregivers. But the best thing? Here's a place to learn about the advances for treating colon and rectal cancers. What's on the horizon?

Some people might be frightened by the idea of attending a conference that is so focused on discussing cancer. You might think it's scary. After all, you're already feeling terrified because you or a loved one has colon or rectal cancer. But when I read the agenda for this national conference, one thing pops into my head and stays there. Why would all of these experienced cancer professionals put together a conference for cancer patients and their families if they didn't think it could actually make a difference? Consider that. All this effort is going into providing families with strategies and information and education on surviving.

As someone who has worked with children who have a loved one with cancer, I can tell you that this can be an overwhelming experience. Children need help understanding what's involved, but at a level that reaches them. I see that the Colon Cancer Alliance is offering a three-part series for children ages 10-18. To me, this is such an important thing to do. You want your kids to get their information on your cancer from experts. You want to help them navigate the fear and work through it, so they are able to participate in the family. Very often, when a parent is affected by cancer, the kids get shuffled off or left out. The family can become fractured. When you're dealing with cancer, you need your family to be strong. You need everyone to be on the same page, with an understanding of your disease that is appropriate for the age.

In case you think the Colon Cancer Alliance is just a group of people determined to educate you on colon and rectal cancer, think again. "Family Matters" participants also have the opportunity to join the Undy 500. In case you haven't figured it out, it's about running or walking 5K in your boxers or your bloomers. That's right. It's an underwear fun run/walk. If you can't make it to Denver for the June 23-25 conference, don't despair. There are Undy 500 runs all over the country:
http://support.ccalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=undy_landing

CANCER AND DISAPPOINTMENT

Some families take on cancer as a family issue. It becomes a crusade. Some friends will encircle one of their own and create a safe cocoon through which to survive the cancer. What happens when cancer returns? What happens when cancer spreads to another part of the body?

If I could give those who love a cancer patient one piece of advice, it would be this. You are supporters, not sufferers. Even though you may feel your heart is breaking, it's not your body enduring the cancer treatment or the disease itself.

Why do you need to be aware of this? When you create a support team for someone who has cancer, you must remember this is not a sport. This isn't a matter of trying hard enough or "if only". Cancer is an unpredictable foe. A cancer patient can do everything right, can take every treatment available, follow every instruction, and take every precaution. In the end, it all comes down to how the disease affects each individual.

We love our sports teams and we can be fanatics in our cheering. That's fine for healthy athletes who train and improve their performances with rigorous attention to human technology and sports performance guidance. But cancer is a disease, not an opponent. You can throw all your resources at it and it can still win. Is that failure?

Failure suggests that there is a measure of control over a situation and the performer just didn't master it. In cancer, patients very often are fighting against all odds. The deck is stacked and the cards aren't in their favor. For some, they don't even find out they are playing until that trump card is dealt.

Are you unwittingly pressuring your loved one by the approach to support you make? What can you do to help your love one understand that he or she has your full support, come what may? How will he or she know that it's not your loved one's fault if the cancer returns or spreads?

What's wrong with the truth? What's wrong with saying what is in your heart and your head? "No matter what happens, I'm here for you. Rain, sleet, snow, drought, earthquake, tsunami...."

Well-meaning people sometimes rally around cancer patients and adopt their illness as a cause. We all want to end cancer. We all want those we love to thrive. But cancer patients are individuals, with hopes, dreams, fears, and sorrows. When everything you share with your loved one revolves around the cancer, when you push to keep your loved one focused on the goal of defeating the cancer, that's pressure to be cured. Is that the message you really want to send?

What can you do to improve the support you give your loved one? Be realistic. You cannot wave a magic wand and make him or her better. Real support is created by seeing the obstacles and meeting them as best as possible under the circumstances limited by the cancer.

1. Encourage socialization --
Help your loved one feel connected to family and friends in ways that put aside cancer and concentrate on fun. Don't put off the opportunities to bond. Understand what holds your loved one back and figure out reasonable solutions. Is it fatigue? Is it fear? Is it frustration?

2. Encourage good nutrition --
Cancer patients need to get through the rigors of cancer treatment and that's not always easy. Find out what cancer center nutritionists suggest for reluctant eaters. Help your loved one find ways to get the calories without the stress. And for heaven's sake, DON'T NAG! Nobody likes to be scolded, especially when you feel like something the cat dragged in.

3. Encourage organization --
It may seem strange to say that organization is important for cancer patients, but the stress of the disease and its subsequent treatment can often make it difficult for loved ones to focus. Providing structure and routine can help. Most chemotherapy patients experience predictable side effects, and if your loved one understands there will be good days and bad, he or she can maximize the activities on good days and minimize them for the days when it's important to rest. Fatigue is a real issue and prevents some cancer patients from achieving their goals. It's always a good idea to figure out ways he or she can conserve physical, mental, and emotional resources.

4. Encourage realization --
Cancer is a disease that can be unpredictable. A lot goes into a cancer treatment program for each patient. What does your loved one need to do to give himself or herself the best chance to survive? Patients need to keep themselves as healthy as possible under the circumstances. Physical health matters. Mental health matters. Emotional health matters. How does chemotherapy affect your loved one? How does the disease affect your loved one? How does the stress of having this disease affect your loved one? Help him or her to understand it's a matter of doing the best you can with what you have. Find out what other cancer survivors do to thrive. Help your loved one use what works.

5. Encourage optimization --
Some people think that cancer treatment is only about showing up for treatment. It's much, much more than that. Help your loved one to live each day as fully as possible. What are his or her short-term goals? What are things he or she wants to experience? Create a net of "positivity" around your loved one, highlighting what is successful in his or her life. If your loved one is worrying about what might happen, he or she won't be able to enjoy the here and now. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Live today. Embrace it. Make the most of it. Appreciate it. Build on it.

Many cancer families focus all their attention on the big cure down the road. When you put all your energy into such an enormous project and it fails to meet your expectations, you can find yourself devastated. Focus on realistic steps along the way. Improve family life. Share more. Laugh more. Live more. Find little ways in everyday life to overcome the effects of cancer, and that will help your loved one live a good life despite the cancer. That's really how you beat this disease.