CANCER CAREGIVING AND GUMPTION

A lot of people think that cancer caregivers are just there to drive folks back and forth to cancer treatment. You can call a taxi driver for that service. A real cancer caregiver is much more than that, and it's important to understand what a vital role he or she plays.

Cancer is a scary disease, no matter how you look at it. From the smallest skin cancer to the biggest malignant tumor, the psychological impact of cancer can often do almost as much damage as the disease or its treatment. That's why good cancer caregivers have gumption.

What's gumption? It's common sense, initiative, shrewdness, courage and resourcefulness. These are all the good qualities for a cancer caregiver. You look for ways to help your loved one navigate the cancer maze. Your confidence and faith that you can make a positive difference can often inspire your loved one to try a little harder to survive. It's not about fooling your loved one into believing that survival is possible. It's about convincing your loved one that life is still going to be okay with cancer, no matter what the outcome. That takes gumption.

Good cancer caregivers know that they're afraid for their loved ones, but they also know that they should step up to the plate and be a rock. It's about understanding that you're the shoulder to cry on, the one your loved one counts on to be steady and sure. When you have your own doubts, you take them elsewhere, because you know that your doubts will be a burden for your loved one. It's not that you don't worry, because you always do. It's that you share your fears with others, because you understand that you need to be the strength for your loved one.

Gumption makes good caregivers take advantage of the good times and make them better. Cancer changes everything, so finding the simple things to celebrate requires true spirit. You have to make excuses for enjoying life -- it's a beautiful day, it's a rainy day, it's a snowy day. A cancer caregiver with gumption doesn't care what the excuse is -- he or she finds a reason to laugh, to try something new, to get out and have some fun with the loved one.

Everywhere you look, you hear people describe cancer patients as brave souls who are fighting a terrific battle. The truth is cancer patients are just human beings, doing the best they can with what they've got. They have moments in which they feel confident and moments in which they have doubts. If they have caregivers with gumption, that's the kind of support that can help them through the dark moments.

You don't have to be perfect to be a cancer caregiver, but it helps to have gumption. You'll look for the opportunities to bring quality to life, to give comfort where comfort is needed and courage when courage is needed, to encourage laughter and love to fill the tiny cracks that form in the heart from the pain of having cancer. The truth is we're social creatures and having partners to help us on difficult stretches of the road of life matter. No one should ever face cancer alone. That's why good cancer caregivers have the guts to step up and step in to make a difference in the lives of cancer patients. We're smart enough to know that if the shoe were on the other foot, we'd want this kind of support.