JO AND KIP

Some people are born to greatness, others have greatness thrust upon them.

Jo was an amazing person. Tall and elegant, Jo lit up any room she entered. And she was as beautiful on the outside as she was on the inside, with a great sense of humor and bright, beautiful eyes that looked at you, not around you. She made you feel connected to her with a glance, a comment, a gesture. Compassionate and kind, she was always reaching out to other people, which is no doubt part of the reason she became a social worker. Jo was a "people person".

In high school, Jo and Kip dated. Somehow, they drifted apart, as young lovers do. Jo married a man she met, had children, lived a nice life, and then tragedy struck. Her husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He lived a short few months. During that time, they had to scramble to get his affairs in order.

After he died, Jo went on living, but then she was diagnosed with cancer, too. Treatment after treatment left her weakened, but determined. Some people might have given up, but not Jo. She was a fighter. She beat the cancer back. She survived, and life went on.

Life often takes a funny turn here and there. Jo and Kip, the high school sweethearts, hooked up again. Their friends were delighted that these two wonderful people found each other again. They took up where they left off, as good companions and committed hearts. They played golf. Jo was a determined competitor on the course. They even entered the Senior Olympics for golf. Their life became a mix of family, friends, golf outings, and trips to CA and NH. They reached out to embrace the life they had with arms open wide.

Over time, Jo's cancer came in and out of their lives, as cancer often does, as a shadow on the horizon. Jo went for treatments, some harder than others, and then she would recoup at home, Kip by her side, until she was able to resume her active life. It was a battle, but Jo was a gallant fighter and Kip was her rock. He didn't run away or hide from the reality of cancer. He stood firmly by her through the ordeal as she struggled. In the end, death came unexpectedly for Jo, from complications.

The biggest question to ask after the loss of someone so special is this -- what would life have been like if Jo hadn't had all that cancer treatment? As gruelling as it was, and it was gruelling on her because cancer can be a cruel disease -- what would life have been like without Jo? She left a big hole in the hearts of many who loved her when she died, none bigger than Kip's, because she was such a powerful force of love and inspiration. As she struggled with the cancer through the last decade of her life, Jo still reached out to people, still pushed herself to be more and do more. She and Kip didn't have enough time together. For that kind of love, there will never be enough time.

Ordinary people are a dime a dozen. Some people wander through life, unfocused, uninterested, and under-engaged in life. They don't know how important life really is, so they squander the life they have. The Jo's of this world are extraordinary. They reach out and grab the brass ring. They live life as fully as they can, and they invite us to do the same. Time may be shortened for a lot of cancer patients, but you will often find that cancer pushes people to use the time they have in amazing, inspiring ways.

Because Jo lived those extra years after her cancer diagnosis, the lives she touched were many, and the people she met along the way took the kindness and wisdom she shared and they passed it along to the people in their circles. Love can be contagious. Don't ever think of cancer as the end. Think of it as a beginning. Take every day and make it meaningful. Let that be your legacy. Let that be your mark on the world.