What Do Cancer Survivors and Diamonds Have in Common?

Diamonds...how do you make one? You bury carbon dioxide 100 miles inside the earth's core and then you heat it to 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit. It's all about high pressure and high heat. But a raw diamond isn't really all that amazing, is it? It becomes something special when it is transformed.

Raw diamonds do very little to let in the light. They are obtuse rocks, chunks of pressurized carbon that don't shine, glitter, or gleam.

Ordinary...common...plain.

The other day, I read a very touching obituary about a woman whose struggle with cancer began back in the 1970's...forty years ago...four decades of battling this disease...can you imagine the pressure she faced to live her life in spite of cancer? This isn't an undertaking for the faint of heart.

Cancer survivors live their lives under enormous pressure. They constantly rework the details of their lives around the disease, making the necessary accommodations that enable them to continue reaching their goals, even when they don't know if they'll reach them all.

It's a myth that diamonds are unbreakable. Sometimes it happens. A tiny fracture, one that might exist as the stone is forming, creates a vulnerability that puts the diamond at risk. Sometimes if it's struck at that vulnerability, it will crack, divide, or even chip. If the damage isn't great, it can often be repaired.

Sometimes people, like diamonds, can break. No one is invincible. But the human spirit that chooses to rise above turmoil, that seeks to endure the unimaginable, often finds there is opportunity in wise design. Knowing our own flaws helps us to figure out our strengths and use them to our advantage when we construct, and sometimes reconstruct, our lives with cancer.

The myth about cancer survivors is that they somehow achieve greatness because of their experience with the disease. People expect cancer survivors to be extraordinary beings, super heroes who do amazing things because they have the Big C. In reality, cancer patients are human. Who and what they are is decided, not by disease, but by self-determination and wise counsel.

Cancer survivors aren't all equal. Some are so overwhelmed by the rigors of cancer management that they lose themselves in the pain and uncertainty. Some stop living their lives. They lock themselves away and grieve for the time they won't have, rather than living the time they do.

And some, despite being overwhelmed, in pain, uncertain, rise above the limitations of disease and move forward, upward, onward. They don't do it because they have super powers, but because they gird themselves with courage they hope will hold them up. They are willing to take one little step more by drawing on their inner strength.

Most long-time cancer survivors can teach the world much about personal resolve, about what it's like to find yourself knocked all the way back to Square One when you least expect it. Fighting cancer isn't about sweating the skirmishes, but about surviving to fight another day. Seasoned veterans of the battle know that the first time you hear that diagnosis is horrible, and it never really gets easier to hear it again...and again...and again. But it sometimes happens. You do the best you can and you go on.

Some cancer survivors seem to thrive as human beings, and we often mistake this phenomena as a byproduct of the disease. Cancer didn't improve them. Sure, it pressured them, heated them until they were sure they could take no more, but they CHOSE to transform themselves.

It takes a jeweler to see the beauty inside a raw diamond, to chip away the cloudy bits, to cut away the flaws, until it is transformed. Every facet of a well-cut diamond allows in light, and where there is light, refracting on those hard surfaces of the diamond, there is sparkle. But it is the human hand and the human eye that finds the beauty in the raw stone and turns it into a gem.

Every cancer survivor has the power to transform. Choosing the kind of life you want to live WITH a cancer diagnosis allows you to take back your personal power. That mindset, that self-determination in the decision-making process, is what empowers us as people to take what we have and make the most of it. If we believe we can find opportunities even in crisis, we will seek them out. And when we recognize them, we will use them to our advantage.

When selecting a diamond, most jewelers advise paying attention to the four c's -- cut, clarity, color, and carat. A good raw stone will yield an attractive gem in the hands of an experienced diamond cutter. It's a matter of knowing what goes and what stays. The same is true for cancer management.

Long-time cancer survivors, honed by experience with the disease, often develop extraordinary clarity -- they come to recognize their vision of what life should be and they work towards making it happen, even when there are obstacles in their way. They add deliberate color to their lives by being selective of time, energy, and desire. Things that don't serve a purpose or nurture are cut away, until what's left is the beauty they've created in a life touched by cancer.

To become extraordinary as a cancer survivor, it's all about the four P's -- perseverance, personality, psyche, and passion. When you live mindfully, focused on what matters most to you as a human being, your determination makes you extraordinary, not cancer. Cancer is just the crisis that helped to form the rock. Without a master jeweler to cut and shape it, it is destined to remain just that...ordinary...common...plain.

You, cancer survivor, are the master jeweler, the artisan who will transform the ordinary into the extraordinary, the common into the remarkable, the plain into the magnificent. It doesn't happen in an instant. You must work at it. You must become skilled and knowledgeable about the disease, about how to survive it. The more you know, the better your decisions will be. Seek out those people who have managed their cancer through the years. Recognize the efforts they make to stay on top of their disease and to maintain their quality of life. Let them share their wisdom with you, so that you, too, can be extraordinary. Fate brings cancer into ordinary lives, but ordinary people choose their own destiny. You can, too.