IS THERE TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON CANCER PATIENTS?

In a perfect world, all cancer patients would be cured of this insidious disease and they wouldn't have the side effects that come with surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. But alas, cancer is what it is.

Is there too much pressure on cancer patients to cure themselves? In our effort to believe the impossible is possible, do we push cancer patients too much, to the point where they feel they have failed when cancer spins out of control? How can we help them to engage in their battle against cancer in a more realistic and honest way?

We know that attitude is a huge part of keeping a patient moving towards cure. If you believe that there's a good chance you can be cured, you will undergo treatment and follow-up care more regularly, and that will keep you in better shape to get past the obstacles that stand in the way. But there is more to cure than just attitude. And that's where setting realistic goals is important.

Do we ask an average athlete to compete in the Olympics? Or an untrained singer to sing a difficult aria? Or someone who is new to chess to play a chess master? The scales aren't tipped in favor of those who don't have what it takes. Most of us are not super-human and we don't have super powers.

Perhaps we should be helping cancer patients to develop their strength in living life while fighting cancer. Cure does not come overnight, but over time, and in stages. If cancer is a mountain that needs climbing, cancer patients need the stamina, the skills, and the support to make it. The truth is that we often don't always know everything that is going on in the body of a cancer patient. Cancer can hide out for some time before it is discovered.  If patients spend all their time and energy in seeking cure, don't they miss the living along the way?

Like students who are pushed to be over-achievers, cancer patients can feel like failures, feeling anxiety over cancer treatments that may not succeed. Instead of living their lives and finding the joy in the moment, they worry that the cancer will win and they will lose. They put their "all" into the battle against a powerful foe, and in doing so, miss out of what really matters.

The truth is we all will die at some point in our lives. There is never enough time to do all of the things we want to do in life. But if cancer patients spend all their time wrapped up in the idea that they must fight and beat cancer, cancer controls their lives. It permeates every facet of their lives, every waking hour.

Not everyone was made to climb Mt. Everest. And many of us wouldn't want to be alone at the frigid summit. The average person wants to love and be loved, to laugh and share, to enjoy what is most precious in life. If you are able to do that while facing cancer, you truly are a winner.