Oh, it's cold and flu season! For most people, it's an inconvenience to be ill, especially during the holidays. But for cancer patients, it can be devastating. Cancer treatment centers often inform patients when they are vulnerable, and it's important for families to understand the risk posed by viruses and other threats to immune systems.
I remember being absolutely terrified when I went to visit an aunt who was battling cancer. I knew it was my allergies that had me congested, but I also needed to remember that she was very vulnerable to any kind of infection. I took precautions and worried through the entire visit. It's hard when someone you love has cancer and you want to be there.
When my mother was actively being treated for cancer, her medical team would periodically warn us that she was particularly vulnerable. That meant we avoided crowds and cautioned family and friends to forgo visits if they were ill. But it didn't mean life stopped for my mother. I still took her out and about, but I used some common sense. We avoided crowds. We took more drives, had more picnics, and explored the "unbeaten path". We even went to movie matinees in quiet, little theaters, where there were only a handful of theatergoers.
There were times, however, when we had to tell people to stay away. My mother was the first to ask any prospective visitor, "Do you have a cold?" Every family invitation included that question. Very often, especially in the winter months, the answer was yes. Many a family gathering was called on account of illness.
At first, some relatives tried to be creative, because they genuinely didn't understand the enormous risk of being exposed to viruses for a cancer patient. We often heard things like, "I promise I won't breathe on you!" People offered to come and sit in the corner. They swore they would not hug and kiss my mother. All they really wanted was to spend time with her.
The truth is that cancer patients really need to be protected when their immune systems cannot handle the effort to engage in a battle with another foe other than cancer. And yet, cancer patients need socialization, don't they?
Why not encourage family and friends to make video visits, through free service, like Skype? Why not encourage text messages, emails, phone calls, and even traditional cards and letters? Your loved one needs to know people care. It's important to have a support system, and that your loved one is covered by it.
You need to be vigilant when your loved one is vulnerable. It's a time to be protective.
Why should you make such an effort? Why does it matter? Your goal is to help your loved one have the best chance to survive cancer. Imagine how terrible it would be to put so much effort into the fight, only to lose to a common cold. Those complications are just not worthy of your loved one.
How successful were we at keeping my mother safe from colds, flu, and other threats? She was extremely lucky. She got through her cancer treatment without any problem. It was worth the effort. But there was also a positive side effect for the rest of us. Because we were so vigilant about hand-washing, sanitizing, and making sure to avoid bringing home viruses, we stayed a lot healthier, too. Not a bad way to live.
If you would like more tips on how to help your loved one through cancer, visit my website,
The Practical Caregiver's Guide -- Advice for Families Caring for a Loved One with Cancer:
https://sites.google.com/site/practicalcaregivercancer/home
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